I have lost count of the number of times I have been on public transport and sat next to someone whose breathing is so heavy it actually disturbs my reading. Sometimes it even manages to drown out my iPod, which is quite an accomplishment.
What is wrong with these people? Isn’t it time they went to the doctors? Got some professional help? Because if I sounded like Darth Vader when I breathed, I’m pretty sure I’d go and seek a second opinion. I mean how do they make phone calls without sounding like sex pests? I bet they can’t even call their own mother for fear of freaking her out and thinking she’s about to be mounted by a mysterious man in black. I mean for Christ’s sake, have they not heard of Vicks? SNORT SOME VICKS! PLEASE! Because the way they’re carrying on at the moment I’m afraid to look up from my Evening Standard for fear of seeing some sweaty man in a suit rubbing his legs and drooling like a pervert.