Why do TV channels think anyone at home enjoys some smug wanker giving us their views on programmes before telling us what’s on next. Coming up with lame jokes and being overly chatty and matey – I don’t know you, I don’t want to know you, stop talking to me through my fucking TV set.
“I hope you’re having a cracking Friday night, and there’s no need to go anywhere because coming next we’ve got those loveable scamps from Scrubs – so unless you’ve had a humour by-pass, STAY TUNED!”
WHAT? Fuck off. Point one, what’s it got to do with you how my Friday night’s going? I could be having a fucking dreadul night – the very fact that I’m watching your shit channel on a Friday suggests I am, so don’t speculate as to how my night is going, because it’s just rubbing salt in an already gaping wound. Point two, HUMOUR BY-PASS? Fuck the fuckety fuck off. Don’t try and be funny you twat. Funny is coming next, produced and scripted by professional comedy writers, not written and voiced by some mental who probably masturbates to pictures of themselves each night.
Just tell me what’s coming next in a quick and formal manner. PLEASE.