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64: PLAYBOY PRODUCTS

Playboy is a multi-million pound brand and as you can see from above, they are very good at what they do. They get hotties to take their clothes off, pose for a cameraman and then put the pictures in a magazine so that men can toss themselves off to their hearts content. But Playboy have also started manufacturing clothes, make-up bags and wallets, and I’m not quite sure who they’re looking to appeal to.

For a start if you’re a man and you own a Playboy t-shirt you look like a pervert. Either that or you look like the kind of bloke who goes around telling all your mates how many women you’ve banged, when in reality you’re a virgin. I cannot believe women will ever look at a a man in a Playboy t-shirt and be more attracted to them. I cannot believe gaggles of women in nightclubs are just waiting for the man in the Playboy t-shirt to walk into their lives. I would imagine most members of the fairer sex would look at such a man and resolve never, ever, ever to go to that club again on account of the type of man it attracts.

Check Out The T-Shirt. Yep, You Want Me Don't You?

Similarly women who wear Playboy t-shirts – isn’t this you basically advertising the fact that you’re a bit of a slut? You’re advertising a soft porn magazine. Men will immediately look at you and think that you’r a go-er. And why is it that often the women who own Playboy merchandise are the very opposite of what the great Hugh Heffner would like to see advertising his brand (see exhibit A, below)?

Living With Hugh Had Taken Its Toll On Chantelle...

And Playboy also have their own stationary now. Stationary! So you can send your youngest off to primary school with a playboy pen, a playboy pencil case and a playboy wallet in case the local bully fancies nicking their dinner money.

Playboy are brilliant. Brilliant at porn. They should stick to that. They make millions of men happy, and millions of dollars from doing so. But Playboy fashion? No thanks.

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