101: SPOTS

I am 32-years-old for Gods sake.  I should not have to wake up in the morning, pull my sorry arse out of bed and into the bathroom only to be confronted by a second head staring back at me in the mirror. 

When will this pain be over?  I don’t want to be a geriatric with acne.

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99: BAD PROPERTY MANAGERS

I live in a shared ownership flat.  It’s a nice flat.  It’s pretty spacious, it’s cosy and most of the fittings and furnishings are in good shape (dodgy windows aside).

However as with all shared ownership complexes, a certain percentage of flats are given away as social housing, and while some such tenants are grateful and respectful to their home and their neighbours, others are not.

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97: HIGH-END MAGAZINES WITH NOTHING BUT ADVERTS IN

 

That’s right GQ, I’m talking to you.  You pay upwards of four quid for a magazine and then have to plough through 25 pages of adverts before even hitting the contents page.

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95: TATTOOS

Here’s one for the ages.  Are tattoos actually any good?  And if so, at what point does a tattoo lover over-tattoo themselves?

Footballers are big fans of tattoos.  Porn stars too.  From what I’ve seen there’s not much tattoo-free skin in either profession.  I have no problem with one or two tattoos.  A cheeky tattoo on the small of a womans back or on their stomach is absolutely fine.  A bloke with a tattoo on his upper arm is almost a tradition.  But when people do their upmost to out-tattoo Michael Schofield in Prison Break it really is time to reassess.

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94: COCKTAIL BARMEN

 

I was a barman once.  I worked in a village pub and learnt to pour the perfect pint of bitter.  I met and chatted with a variety of punters and had the odd drink myself, often paid for by the customers themselves.  But if I was a customer who wandered into a cocktail bar and was confronted by this:

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93: DOMINOS PIZZA

Aside from the fact that their name is frighteningly close to my own, sparking opportunity for people to call me Domino (or Pizza Face in my teenage years), Dominos Pizza just doesn’t taste very nice.

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92: GREEDY AMERICAN TV PRODUCTION COMPANIES

I recently finished watching the American TV version of ‘The Killing’  – a remake of a hugely successful Danish show.  I was worried it might be a bit of a disappointment but to be fair it gripped me throughout – until the final episode that is…

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