Superman is one of the world’s best-loved characters. He has been an integral part of many peoples childhoods since his creation in the late 1930’s, and has been successfully portrayed in film by the much missed Christopher Reeve, an actor who was born to play The Man of Steel.
Superman is known for his super-powers and his brilliant, brilliant costume. A costume that is one of the most easy-to-remember outfits ever created: Blue suit, red pants, red cape. Perfect. Why then, have the creators of the new Superman film decided that they’re going to throw away the old design and come up with this monstrosity:
Which fucking arsehole has decided to pimp up Superman’s outfit so it looks like the sort of costume you’d buy your five-year-old son from Argos? It looks like they’ve given it some sort of go faster stripes on the hip. The blue and red are far too dark. It looks almost like it has body armour on it. WHY THE FUCK DOES SUPERMAN NEED BODY ARMOUR?!? HE’S FUCKING SUPERMAN!!! This is an insult to my eyes.
Every so often some smart-arse producer or director comes along and decides to make a film about a hugely popular character. They decide to ignore what fans of said character want, they decide to ignore what the creators of the actual character would have wanted and they decide to ignore decades of history and tradition associated with that character. Instead they choose to monumentally spazz it up. Superman has always survived such a mauling. He has appeared invincible to such misjudgements of taste and decency. But now Superman appears to have finally been massacred, and Kryptonite wasn’t even required.
First they hire a bloke called Henry to play the Man of Steel, then they dress him up like a cunt. WELL DONE YOU. REALLY, REALLY WELL DONE.