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76: TAXI DRIVERS WHO RELY ON GPS

If you take a job as a taxi driver isn’t it quite important to have some vague idea of where places are and how you get to them? London cabbie’s have to train for years and undertake ‘the knowledge’ before setting foot in a black cab, but once they’re qualified you can guarantee that they’ll know where to go and how to get there. But independent taxi firms? Fuck me.

More and more taxi drivers are now relying on GPS to help them get from A to B. But the problem with this is that there are numerous problems with GPS. Firstly, a GPS is hardly ever fully up-to-date. While you can update your GPS, it is very rare that even after downloading the latest software it will have ALL the new addresses that are shooting up across the country everyday. I live in a new-build flat and everytime I order a cab this conversation never fails to occur:

ME: Can I order a cab please?

DRIVER: Sure. Where we picking up from?

ME: Flat 16 Cather-

DRIVER: What’s the postcode there mate?

ME: You won’t have my postcode – it’s a new-build.

DRIVER: Give it to me anyway mate.

Me: ***GIVES DRIVER POSTCODE***

DRIVER: (Pause) Nah, that’s not coming up mate.

Brilliant. Another thirty seconds of my life pissed away by some numpty. Of course after this pointless tit-for-tat I then endeavour to give them directions, before they ask for a road near my road. I do this, they drive to that road, and then they call me again. ‘I’m here’, they tell me. I assure them that they’re not. I haven’t given them my address after all. So I guide them from their current location to the front door. Five minutes later they call back. Despite the fact that they were only TWO MINUTES away, they’re still not here and – worse still – they’re lost again. This goes on and on and on for far too long until, if you’re anything like me, you give up, leave the house and go about tracking down the car, waving like a lunatic when you see it in the distance.

Now I am shit at directions. I have sympathy for those that struggle to read maps or listen to directions. But when it is your JOB to know your way around, when you are being PAID to find a location, then I have no sympathy whatsoever. Stop relying on GPS and get a fucking grip people.

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