Here’s one for the ages. Are tattoos actually any good? And if so, at what point does a tattoo lover over-tattoo themselves?
Footballers are big fans of tattoos. Porn stars too. From what I’ve seen there’s not much tattoo-free skin in either profession. I have no problem with one or two tattoos. A cheeky tattoo on the small of a womans back or on their stomach is absolutely fine. A bloke with a tattoo on his upper arm is almost a tradition. But when people do their upmost to out-tattoo Michael Schofield in Prison Break it really is time to reassess.
Of course David Beckham is probably responsible for the influx of tattoos into the national game. He even cited Prison Break the inspiration for his own body art. But while almost every woman on the planet would love a bit of D-Becks, and while pretty much every bloke would love to be him, isn’t it fair to say that even Goldenballs has ballsed up his body in the name of art? I mean, angel wings on your neck? Really?
The problem with tattoos is that while one or two look pretty good, three or four make you look like a lunatic. People associate a loads of tattoos with that mental who seems to be in every town or village across the country – the one who talks to themselves in public, has shaved all their hair off save for two dyed pink tufts and who has a spiders web inked onto their forehead.
I’m not saying tattoos can’t be cool. I’m not saying they can’t be sexy. But fuck me, know when to quell the ink fetish before it’s too late or else you’re basically shoe-horning yourself into one of two professions. And football is not an easy game to succeed in…