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Newspapers have been going for ages.  There’s broadsheets, tabloids, free papers, ipad papers – they’re bloody everywhere.  And yet  a good number of them end up making your hands look like you’ve just escaped from a coal mine.

The freebies are probably the worst of the bunch.  You pick up a copy of the Metro or the Evening Standard to catch up on the days events and by the time you’ve reached the sports pages you’re caked in the black stuff.  And have you ever done that thing where you have an itch on your face, you scratch it and then end up transfering ink to your forehead or cheek?  When you’re reading free newspapers the chances are you’re on public transport, and you know what?  THERE ARE NO MIRRORS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT.  NOBODY IS GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR INK-STAINED FACE.  AND YOU’LL END UP WANDERING THEW STREETS LOOKING LIKE YOUR HEADS BEEN USED AS A FUCKING CANVAS BY A TODDLER WITH ONE LONE CRAYON. 

Surely after all these years the powers that be in the newspaper industry can improve their ink effectiveness?  Surely there has to be a solution to this dark, dark issue?  Free wet wipes maybe?  Magazines aren’t inky.  In magazines the writing stays on the page.  Let’sget this problem sorted once and for all, otherwise we’ll all be reading Kindle’s until the end of time.


About Twenty8Later

A brand new podcast mocking news, sport & entertainment in handy 28-day chunks. Good times in a terrible, terrible world.

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