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Recently I’ve been told that when I eat I grate my fork on my teeth. Each mouthful of food that goes into my mouth is met by a scraping noise as the metal prangs of the cutlery grind on my gnashers.

Prior to being given this information I had no idea that I did this. In thirty-two years of my life I have never been told that I had this problem. And because I have done it for such a long time without knowing about it, it’s now very, very difficult to stop. After all, how do you change the habit of a lifetime?

There’s only one way really. And that is to abandon cutlery all together and indulge in nothing but finger food. So buckle up belly, pizza here we come…


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