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121: CABBIES WHO EAVESDROP

I recently got a cab home with my girlfriend after enjoying a few drinks in a North London pub.  Won the way home we began discussing a few problems we’ve been having with anti-social behaviour around our flat, when out of nowhere the taxi driver decided to weigh in with his two-penneth.

This cabbie was a proper mockney cockney too, with every other word being ‘fuck’, ‘fucked’ or ‘fucking’. 

“Society’s fucked mate.  The police need to do their fucking job guv.  They just don’t give a fuck mate”.  I didn’t really know what to do.  This man was driving us home.  i didn’t feel comfortable telling him to mind his own business.  He was quite a big fellow and I thought if we were rude he might throw us out of his vehicle, or worse still threaten to ‘fuck me up’.  So i tried to subtly change the subject with my girlfriend, asking what she fancied doing for the rest of the night.  And guess who piped up?

“You should watch a fucking film mate.  Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Spy on at the pictures guv.  It’s fucking brilliant.”

In the end I gave up having any sort of conversation about our lives and decided to quiz him on his, just so he wouldn’t learn anything else about what’s going on in our world.  I asked him when he started his shift, what time he finished, where he lived, if he had any kids – I did to him what he did to me.  I became a RIGHT FUCKING NOSY BASTARD.  MATE.

And you know what?  It felt pretty good…

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About Twenty8Later

A brand new podcast mocking news, sport & entertainment in handy 28-day chunks. Good times in a terrible, terrible world.

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