I was in Starbucks the other day (middle class evidence #1) and I was waiting for my coffee alonside a young woman who was clearly irked. She told me she’d been waiting more than five minutes for a latte and several other customers who had arrived earlier had already received their caffeine fix for the day.
I’ve recently got into cider. I love it, I do. And of all the many ciders on the market I LOVE Aspalls Cider.
I hate having a bad lunch. You work all morning with a view to your lunch, and then when you eat it, it’s crap.
Going on a plane is always exciting. You’re either going on holiday, which is pretty cool, or you’re on a business trip – which in my experiences have been pretty rare and so are also pretty exciting.
Recently I’ve been told that when I eat I grate my fork on my teeth. Each mouthful of food that goes into my mouth is met by a scraping noise as the metal prangs of the cutlery grind on my gnashers.
Local pubs for local people. Well this is a shit concept isn’t it?
I was a barman once. I worked in a village pub and learnt to pour the perfect pint of bitter. I met and chatted with a variety of punters and had the odd drink myself, often paid for by the customers themselves. But if I was a customer who wandered into a cocktail bar and was confronted by this:
Aside from the fact that their name is frighteningly close to my own, sparking opportunity for people to call me Domino (or Pizza Face in my teenage years), Dominos Pizza just doesn’t taste very nice.
I actually really like water. It’s cold, it’s refreshing, it’s delicious. When I go to a restaurant and I am asked if I would like some ‘water for the table’, I always say yes (although I’m not quite sure what a table would want with water, it’s hardly going to drink it).