59: HOODIES

I am sick of people going on and on about how our broken society created these wankers, and how the rioting of August was inevitable because we’ve ignored this generation for so long. These people weren’t ignored, they acted like morons, showed no respect to their fellow man and drove themselves away from society by being pricks. The only reason these people are ignored now is because they’re arseholes who are likely to mug you if you go near them.

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55: PIGEONS

Pigeons are the scourge of the skies, but in many ways I have no problem with that.  The sky is their domain, after all.  It’s their home.  We live on the ground, they live in the sky – as long as they choose not to use me as target practice while they’re dropping their load, let them live in peace with the other birds, flapping their wings and coo-ing to each other in blissful rhyme.  But when they move onto our turf, onto our streets, I’m afraid we have to draw the line and defend ourselves.

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13: THE NHS

Yeah I said it.  I went there.  The NHS.  People say we’re lucky to have the NHS, and maybe they’re right.  We’re probably luckier than Ethiopions.  We don’t have to pay for our health service like Americans, but that doesn’t mean that the NHS is the greatest health service there’s ever been, and it certainly doesn’t mean it can’t improve. 

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